Mathematics and Me

"on March 4th:MATH books burn"

This was a status a friend of mine had put up on Facebook, who, (obviously) is about to give her Board exams. 

I commented: "Did that after my 10th Boards...what a wonderful feeling!"

Yes, as you can possibly imagine and deduce, I am not particularly fond of maths. In fact, I have substantial evidence to prove that I am allergic to mathematical calculations. The symptoms include head-aches, body aches, and even memory loss (I tried explaining it to my parents once that, it was my reason for flunking a test; obviously they didn't buy it). 

The point is, there are certain things that come naturally to a student in the course of his or her academic life (or after); subjects that particularly interest them; or, as I like to say, subjects that do not interest them. This is more important than knowing what you like, I mean, at least that's one less potential life-ruining option!

When I was in the third standard, my uncle had a habit of making me learn my tables by heart. Yes, you heard that right, uncle. Even my parents weren't as concerned. No, this is not bad parenting; in fact, this should set a precedent for other parents in the world (you listening?!).

So, there I was, unwilling and as stubborn as a well...reluctant third grader, trying to know by tables by heart...if only to save my skin. 
"What will you do if the shopkeeper cheats you?" he used to ask. "You have to be aware of such things!" Now why would a shopkeeper want to cheat me in the first place? And, if that was to be the case, I could always use a calculator, couldn't I? (Though, at that stage I couldn't operate one. Still...!)
Considering the next instance I'm gonna talk about; I really don't blame my uncle for taking that extra bit of initiative. 

Rewind a year back: second standard. We've just started learning tables, and boy! it seems fun! The first thing I was taught was 2 times 2 is four! Oh, isn't that like 2 plus 2? Ah, then it's all a matter of tilting the sign! I was so intrigued by this exciting new avenue in mathematics (that was a time when I liked maths. Yes, how naïve of me…I was seven years old), and sat admiring this discovery of mine, while the rest of the class moved on to 10 times 10.

I heard the question, and a voice answered from somewhere: “Hundred!”

What an idiot! I stood up, looked at him, almost contemptuously and mockingly and said, loud and proud: “No! 10 times 10 is twenty!”

What more can I say…except that humiliating events such as this traumatize second graders. For life.

It was in the seventh grade that I tasted failure for the first time…in maths; I scored a fifteen on fifty. When a ‘scholarly’ student like me ‘fails’, even teachers get scandalized. My maths teacher was shocked, and genuinely concerned; especially after she saw me smiling. Yes, smiling. 
I think I should add temporary insanity to the list of allergies.

Fortunately, I ended my math ordeal by scoring excellently in my 10^th Boards (after which people wanted me take maths. Weirdos!) Before the 11th admission were announced, I was standing outside college, and happened to hear this gentleman talk to my dad. “Maths is very important, in every aspect of our lives; we cannot live without maths.”

I laughed in my mind. Yeah, right…! That’s why God invented something called the ‘Arts stream’.

Then, a few months later, in economics (which was a compulsory subject. Communists!), we had statistics…a synonym for, you guessed it right, mathematics.

Post-script: I intended to talk about this grandiose plan that me and some friends (others who'd flunked as well) had hatched: to build a time machine, go back in time, and kill the ones responsible for creating maths. The first on our list was Euclid, then was Pythagoras and err, was Archimedes a mathematician? 

Nonetheless, we sat brainstorming and calculated the odds of the mission being a success. Of course, the plan never materialized...we were bad at maths, weren't we?