Sunday, April 3, 2011

The Patriotic Treason


People think I'm a cynic, and a self conceited bastard who doesn't like to play fair. People are right. Take, for example, last night's final match. I supported Sri Lanka, not India. In fact, I dislike the present Indian team, or more so, the way the present team is. And for that, I was called unpatriotic, traitor even. 
Well, with a nation full of such "patriots", I think it might do rather well without one like me. 

So, am I going to defend myself now? I don't know. Am I going to apologize? Hell no. 

Firstly, I haven't committed a crime to ask for forgiveness, or to grovel at someone's feet, pleading for mercy. I stood by my convictions; whether they were wrong or right, fair or unfair, I don't give a damn. Secondly, I think, and I'm saying this not in a fit of rage, but through years of patience and observation-  may the public be damned. They do not know what is good for them and will never do. 
Some call me a Marxist for my dislike of capitalism and the consumerist way of life. Others call me a misguided and dangerous individualist, one who would sacrifice the greater good to fit the outcome in his very own twisted sense of ethics and morality. I say, I'm a little bit of both. 

I am not a Marxist for the reason that I do not agree with most of what Marx had said. I do not think it to be wise or even beneficial to sacrifice the talents of one individual to abolish the injustice that arises from inequality. And I'm not a misguided individualist either. I am a perfectly guided one. I believe that man, by himself, is perhaps the most sentient being nature has created, her finest. He enters into an agreement with other men, of equal or perhaps more, talent to meet his own needs, never seeking refuge from incompetence under the guise of charity. 
This is the single individual. The single man, who is endowed with this biological virtue; fine-tuned through years of evolution. True, man has always lived in groups; he was ever in need to cooperation. Not a blatant sense of conformance that shows disdain to his superior intellect just for the one reason that it seems to create inequality between him and the lesser man. Cooperation, then was turned to a forced relation of charity and philanthropy, benefiting not the needy, but the incompetent. 
Tell me, is this justice? This, my friends, doesn't fit in my twisted sense of ethics and morality. And a great woman by the name of Ayn Rand showed this- that selfishness is not an undesirable trait- Selflessness, by its most direct meaning, is that itself: the loss of the self. The loss of conviction. The loss of that biological virtue. 

Animals either hunt individually, or in packs. That's how nature has programmed them; wolves and lions hunt together, it's the basic philosophy of their existence, and for tigers and vipers, to hunt by themselves. But even pack animals don't give into to mass delusions; a  condition to which we humans are so susceptible. We create terms like 'patriotism' and 'teams', with their own set own prescriptive standards; "if you're not this, you can't be that"; "if you're not supporting India, you're a traitor to the cause". 
Public opinion is a powerful tool in a democracy. It has the power to change the fate of the nation, for the better or for the worse. The fate of the world has, on many occasions, been safeguarded by public opinion itself; sound and logical thoughts shared by the citizenry. This is where the first contradiction of the modern time arises. The public can, with proper and informed knowledge, be mobilized to do great good that the governments of the world may not even dare to achieve. But, it can also be made slave to delusions, by offering it the sweet nectar of mass conformity. A sense of identity derived from not what we believe in, but believing in what others want us to believe.  

Yes, I didn't fight any war, or kill any enemies to show by allegiance to my nation. I don't think any citizen in today's world should ever have to do that. It is so easy for us to direct our nationalism against another nation, or an individual, whilst asserting our love for the motherland. When, at the very some moment, we are sending it to the gutters. Hypocrisy is one thing, a patriotic treason, quite another. I might end up making more enemies than friends through this essay. But I know you, and your tools of subjugation. 
How do you defeat a man who loves none but himself? How do yo wound him, when he has no guilt whatsoever, when he risks his own standing in society, by choosing to stand by what he believes in? 
The answer is: you cannot defeat him. Kill him, maybe. But not claim victory. Because, the letter 'i' isn't there in the word 'team', but it's there in 'victory'. 

You've sacrificed your self worth for the sake of complacence; your identity as a responsible citizen, for the ecstasy of a victory to which you have contributed nothing. To the death of both, a sport and a nation; to create one that suits your twisted sense of ethics and morality. 
With that, I sign off on this note...you may agree with me; though most would disagree, violently even. But I am just exercising a right that my nation guarantees me (or maybe it once did), the right to freedom of speech. 
You have that right too. Don't forget so; because if you do, then God help our nation.


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Completely Falsified & Untrue Cricket Trivia. Ever.



The cricket fever is hard to ignore; in the TV screen, in the newspapers, and even among the public, ever Tom, Dick and Harry (some of them are fine cricketers) had an opinion to offer. Balls and runs and all that mumbo- jumbo, and the ever-so-conspicuous-bug is what defines the Indian (& Pakistani &Sri Lankan &all the other countries who can't make it to the FIFA qualifier's) populace. They say cricket is religion; and the likes of Sachin Tendulkar are gods. Well, what more can I say; we've always been so religious! Though, I don't think this qualifies as a proper research paper in sociology, it is still hard to ignore!


So, this is my own very personalized (read: fabricated, but funny!) take on the sport that was named after an insect (etymologists go explore!). 

#1. Obviously, the sport of cricket is named after a bug; why? Before the legendary Lagaan match (it is true) it was just called 'bat-and-ball', then in the early 1800s some Britons accidentally squished a cricket (the swear phrase today is known as 'crikey'). To honour the dead bug (the players then were entomologists) the renamed bat-and-ball as "cricket".

#12. The sport of cricket is more tragic than ironic; the Brits who invented it, sadly today are not even that close to monopolizing the game. All a result of their stupid colonial imperialism. Bloody capitalists! And more tragically, Indians like Akshay Kumar are now playing in their teams.

#41. During the Cold War years, India and certain other NAM countries decided to thaw the US-USSR cold vibes by organizing a friendly cricket match. 

#46. That plan didn't materialize as the Americans had more disdain for an English game than they had for a Soviet State. And, most of the Russian players wanted to defect to the West but were later caught and shot dead by the KGB. 

#67. The most unfair practice in International Cricket today is the Home Ground advantage; matches should be organized in non-cricketing countries so that it boosts the economy of those nations and well, the propagation of cricket. 

#74. The second most unfair practice in International Cricket is the Duck-Worth Lewis method. Actually, it's the most illogical and worthless thing ever (worse than this trivia, too). I mean, is cricket about an insect and a duck? Or was that an umpire who decided to play God?

#118. The IPL should be renamed the IIPL, International Indian Premiere League. Why? I really don't know. They can still call it the "eyee-pee-ell"...I guess.

#126. Lalit Modi is actually Sharad Pawar's long-lost nephew. When he realized that Pawar ditched him at the Kumbha-Mela, he decided to make it large and make his sporting extravaganza larger than the BCCI. 

#133. When the Shiv-Sena dug the pitch at Wankhede in '91, they were actually planning to bury a few loads of cash. It never struck them that the ditches have to be filled after they're stuffed with cash.

#149. Call it hypocritical or ironical, I actually cheer for Indian players more in an IPL match than an international one; just a few favourites, mind you. 

#153. It's grossly untrue that most Indians are unaware of sports like hockey and tennis; every Indian knows that the "70 minutes" of a hockey match are the most important 70 minutes for the players; I'm guessing they get paid by the hour. And as for tennis, which Indian male ever missed a Sania Mirza match!

#191. "99" is the second best Indian movie about cricket after 'Lagaan'; and the best part is, half the movie's about betting and match-fixing!

#199. No matter how many such random and pointless posts, such as this, you read, cricket will always be second to football!